Why You Can't Relax Even When Nothing Is Wrong (And What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You)
Why You Can't Relax Even When Nothing Is Wrong
(And What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You)
You're Not Broken....
You were conditioned to believe you're supposed to be BUSY ... ALL. THE. TIME.
Fun Fact - You're not
We are supposed to rest.
We are supposed to have down time - the human body is not designed to take on that kind of stress, 24/7, 365
Even our predecessors took sundays off...
AND. Corporate, and everything that goes with it, decided they needed to make more money - so more productivity was pushed and became the narrative.... which at the end of the day has brought us to where we are now.
Tired
Overworked
Underpaid
and Normalizing the "busy badge of honour" while our nervous systems are tapped right out
This is where I'm going to take the time to note, this isn't my "norm" for a blog - and I also will say that this is something I'm testing out - in accompaniment with my podcast - The Reclamation Project.
Your Nervous System Learned That Busy = Safe
Many of us were raised in homes/farms/environments where, If you were busy, you were "safe".
Safe from a longer chore list
Safe from being yelled at
Safe from being given a job worse than you already were doing
And. Safe from punishment - unreasonable or otherwise
And deconditioning our nervous system is the work we get to do now - if we don't, it comes at a cost
The Cost...
burnout - that has us feeling like we'll never catch up
emotional numbness - that robs us of feeling the full height of joy because we've numbed to the pain of the burnout
resentment - of those who we feel obligated to stay busy for
chronic fatigue .. never can get enough rest...
anxiety - that's crippling when we're "done" the list
never feeling "done" - and when we are done, we think we're missing something
inability to enjoy success - we don't even celebrate them, let alone enjoy them
disconnected relationships - this is the ultimate cost - right here
What Regulation Actually Looks Like
This is one of the biggest misconceptions in the healing world.
Most people think regulation means: feeling calm all the time, never getting anxious, always being peaceful, meditating every morning, taking deep breaths
That's a part of regulation.... as in, those are the tools
Regulation is something much deeper. It's the ability to stay connected to yourself when life isn't going according to plan.
It's about shortening the distance between activation and reconnection.
Dysregulation asks:
"How do I make this feeling stop?"
Regulation asks:
"How do I stay with myself while I move through this?"
That's a completely different way of living.
Most people are looking for a feeling, and what they're actually building is a capacity. Which looks like noticing before you react
Instead of immediately snapping at your partner...
...you notice your shoulders tightening.
You notice your jaw clenching.
You notice the urge to defend yourself.
You pause.
Because you've become aware.
You stop making urgency your default.
You no longer confuse urgency with importance.
You let discomfort exist without immediately fixing it.
That is regulation.
You can sit still without creating work.
You sit on the couch. Nothing is wrong. And you can stay there... without overthinking it
You stop abandoning your body to stay connected to everyone else.
Because you've learned to trust your body. You don't panic during quiet seasons. (This is a big one in business!)
Your nervous system starts becoming your home.
Boundaries become easier.
That's regulation.
Rest becomes restorative instead of guilt-filled.
You don't spend the whole day off thinking about tomorrow.
You're actually...
...present.
Three Things to Practice This Week
1.Take 10 minutes each day to DO NOTHING - no devices, no "must read" books, no journalling, no bypassing - just sit - and see what comes - IF this is super uncomfortable - go for a walk with no phone or headphones - see what happens in your body - what are the sensations?
2. When you catch yourself ADDING to the list - just for the sake of being busy - don't.
Do something fun instead - something you've been putting off
3. When you catch yourself overthinking/overdelivering/overdoing. Pause - ask what's underneath this? Is it a worthiness/need to earn approval space? Redirect if it is.
Reflection Questions
Where do I feel guilty slowing down?
When did I first learn that rest wasn't safe?
Who benefits when I stay busy?
Who am I when I'm not producing?
Your Invitation
Have a listen to the podcast! https://open.spotify.com/episode/0GSPeKLjIzg677y8AHUTpk?si=77623d25160a4a96
Link to Reclamation Session. https://coach.coachterradawn.com/widget/bookings/1-1call/healingcallstrategycall
