Self Abandonment is no longer an acceptable price for Connection

I chose myself

I didn't wait for the unveiling of the potential I saw

The repeated disappointment

The behaviour didn't change after the conversation

I expressed the hurt - nothing changed

I wasn't willing to leave myself again

The relationship started to require a lot of self protection

• Too much explaining

• Too much defending my needs - basic needs

• A lot of emotional labour just to maintain basic alignment

I used to stay too long

• waited to see if they'd change their treatment of me

• waited to see if I could "fix it" when I didn't break it

• I would over function, over give, over wait

I used to romanticize the potential

Now I grieve the reality - Consistency & change in behaviour the first time it's brought up trumps Chemistry

Safety matters more than attachment

Self abandonment is no longer an acceptable price for Connection

My soul finally cut something off, that my nervous system could no longer handle or carry

I chose alignment over attachment

THAT is my Reclamation

No more romanticizing

No more hoping potential would become reality

No more accepting breadcrumbs

No more confusing occassional effort for transformation

My self respect became louder than my hope

I didn't give up

I woke up